There are 10 chapters presented in Part 3 of HTWF. All 10 chapters are critically important to read, understand, and ultimately integrate in our lives. For purposes of this discussion, I’d like you to pull out the three chapters that spoke to you the most in terms of the following:
1. Identify which chapters stood out and why these three chapters in Part 3 have significance to you? (Ex: Chapter 8 (page 154) stood out to me as soon as I read the following: “you are capable of doing the right, honorable, true thing.” It’s amazing that a simple message like this could convey to others that you believe in them, or even that I believe in myself, to work toward a mutual goal of making a difference.)
2. Give “in-real-life” examples of how you have seen others use these techniques in the three chapters you selected, or alternatively, situations in which these techniques could have been applied and maybe had a different result.
3. We all have weak areas that require some personal development. That said, identify 2 or 3 of your weak areas that merit some personal development and identify an associated goal. In the greater context of all of Part 3, how do you plan to integrate these techniques into your “weak” areas? Do you have a tendency to not admit when you’re wrong? Do you easily dismiss others’ opinions? Is it hard for you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes? As an example of what I am looking for, I’ll share one of my weak areas with you and what would be an appropriate response to the question:
As an example of a “weak” area, I have a tendency to use non-verbal communication, in
particular in meetings to show my displeasure (eye-rolling, etc) with something I don’t agree
with on some level (dismissing others’ opinions, really). I’ve been aware that I do it, but in the
last year, I have made a concerted effort to stop it. The reason is this: the message I’m portraying
to my colleagues is one of dissonance, and outwardly indicates that I’m not willing to find
common ground to work toward a solution.
After reading Chapter 5, “Access Affinity,” it was much easier for me to go into meetings with a
new perspective of, “if I want my colleagues to like me and respect what I have to say, I have to
knock it off and pay attention to find some commonality to get to “yes” faster, and ultimately get
what I want out of it.” My goal is to not be viewed as difficult to work with, and be someone who
can find the value in what someone else is trying to say and integrate that value in my
interactions. It is still VERY hard for me to contain myself, but I am much more aware of it and
the damage I can do if I don’t control it. It gets easier every day, but that is part of my journey
too.
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